Land of Confusion
by Artemisdesari
Summary: The Winchesters, Castiel and Cassidy go in search of allies, Raphael acts. Part 3 of Hand of Sorrow: Angel Wars Arc. Now COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

_My next little offering and I swear, Cassidy has taken on a life of her own and is sat in the corner of my mind that is more than a little dusty with a shotgun and a glass of whisky and mourning the mess I'm apparently making of her life. I hasten to remind her that without me she wouldn't exist. Anyway, although the original version of this song, Land of Confusion was by Genesis, the one that inspired me was again the Disturbed version._

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I own neither song nor boys. Both shall be returned only a little battered.  
_

Land of Confusion.

_**I must have dreamed a thousand dreams  
Been haunted by a million screams  
But I can hear the marching feet  
They're moving into the street**_

All the owners of places like Cassidy's bar know each other, mostly through word of mouth, but primarily because a lot of these places have been around for a long time, and how else are hunters going to find out about them if other hunters and other owners do not tell them where to look. The point of it is, while Dean and Castiel drive around the country looking for people to help them, Cassidy is starting at the place where she will find people with the most influence over hunters. She is starting with the suppliers and the old ones who cannot or do not hunt anymore, the motel owners and the safe houses, and more than that, she is looking at the ones who own establishments like her own.

When she thinks about it, she knows that places such as this are the best bet to find a sympathetic ear, a number of less than sympathetic ones will be there too, but she is not so concerned about those. The other places, the haunts of lone hunters with collections and the suppliers and the safe houses will likely not see another hunter for several months. So she is calling her contacts, explaining what is happening to the world, trying to cast the Winchester boys in as positive a light as possible, which is hard, because she does not trust them, just like she does not trust any hunter really.

Still, Sam is still here, researching and going through her books and helping her on the busy evenings and slowly worming his way into the back of her mind, slowly making her stop tensing every time he enters the room or leaves it, stop worrying about the fact that he may use her or stab her in the back. She finds it disconcerting. So she asks Ellen about it when she calls her, knows that the older woman knows both of the Winchesters and has some small idea already of what has been happening and why.

She is still surprised, however, when the huffed laugh of the other woman is carried on the phone, when she hears Ellen tell her to stop fighting it, because those men, the sons of John Winchester, they have that same habit that their father did. The habit of getting under your skin and getting you to trust them, to _like_ them, which is not to say that Ellen thinks that this is a bad thing mind, just that they have an unfair advantage over Cassidy really, they have more experience at getting people who would not normally let them in to do just that. She points to Bobby as proof of that.

Thing is, Cassidy had already figured out that they are charismatic, Sam more than Dean because he has a habit of getting into her head, it would seem, of making her trust him, and she knows that is dangerous, knows that she should not be relaxing her guard around him, but she does, because she is alone and she is afraid and she knows that these calls are not going to be enough, knows that eventually she will have to go out into the world and she would rather go with someone, go with _Sam_ than go alone. Which is so far from her normal state of mind that she is almost scared by it, but she has lost everyone that was close to her, everyone who has ever meant anything to her whether to death or to hunting. So sure, she is scared that she is letting Sam get too close, but she is more scared of having no one.

So she does not mention it, just continues to make calls and talk to those who owe her favours, anything to try and get as much accomplished as she can before the inevitable happens and they leave.

Jo turns up a few days after Cassidy spoke to Ellen and the older blonde cannot help but notice that the air between her and Sam is tense, cut it with a butter knife tense, and this is something that she does not need with the hunters already on edge and waiting for her to tell them exactly what is going on, which is why Jo is here, because Cassidy is going to tell them everything that they need to know and then leave with Sam in the car her cousin has commandeered for her. Cassidy does not want to know how he managed it, but Reuben did and she is not turning that down. Jo will be left to run the bar, Ellen said that it would help the girl to settle, and she has first hand experience of hunting, so she will integrate easily with the regulars. At the end of it all, Cassidy wants a bar to come back to so that they can assemble their forces and make plans, this is the best place to do it, she thinks.

Sam has not disagreed with her yet.

The younger Winchester has found a few leads he thinks it will be worth them checking out, a church in North Maine and another in Iowa, a library in New York if they can get there and on the way, Cassidy is going to be trying to persuade other hunters to join them in the search for a way to stop the angels. They are leaving in the morning and tonight, Cassidy it telling the hunters the truth.

It does not go down well, they had not thought that it would, and this is exactly what the angels want, they want people too panicked to work out what is happening, the hunters too fractured, to isolated to stop them. They do not want the world to be saved and he wastes no time in telling them that, in telling them the whole story and it has elements that Cassidy has not heard before, things that Dean did not tell her. Oddly, it only makes her trust Sam, _like_ Sam, more, which also bothers her, not that she will admit it.

A few of the hunters tell them that the manipulation of the angels is not an excuse, should not be used as one, and that the same applies for the actions of Ruby and Lillith, except that it would seem that both sides were, for a time, working towards a common goal and if Dean's actions had not saved the world, at least he had _tried_ to, she points out, at least they were both man enough to try and correct their mistakes.

Castiel's story is the biggest surprise, however, Castiel who turned his back on the angels because they turned their backs on him, because they used him as a part of their manipulations. Strange he may have been, unsettling too, but now that she knows the truth, Cassidy cannot imagine every really disliking him, one too pure to truly comprehend the dirty, ugly, life of a hunter that is now his lot. Something that he _chose_ even when the chance to have his old life back was offered. That at least has to earn her respect for him, that he did not abandon them all at the first chance he got.

Some of the hunters in the bar met Castiel, a few of them even liked him well enough with his wealth of knowledge of the supernatural and exorcisms, protection charms and hex bags and even if he had not known it, those few days at the bar giving such advice had made him more friends than he had been able to comprehend. For all the hunters who know Castiel, however, there are more who knew and liked Daniel, because all the regulars did and his death is the nail in the coffin. If there is one thing that a bunch of revenge obsessed, grief fuelled sociopaths are good for, it is exacting said revenge and that is something that Cassidy will use to her own gain, to Peter's gain, and if they just so happen to save the world in the process, well then that will make her a big damn hero.

She does not want to be.

SPN

Dean knows that this is a bad plan, possibly the worst plan that they have ever had, but there is little more that they can do at this point. They need help, this is far bigger than they can handle on their own. That said, the whole stopping the Apocalypse from _starting_ was far bigger than they could handle, particularly with Heaven _and_ Hell working against them.

Even so, there is something comforting about knowing that Sam is with Cassidy, knowing that he is using everything that the woman has access to so that he can try and find a solution to their mistake. It is not that he is not worried, especially knowing that Sam is about to head out on the road with her to start tracking down leads and she does not know him as well as Dean does, does not know the little things that Sam dislikes and that set him off. She cannot protect him as well as Dean can, although he admits to himself that he has not exactly done a stellar job of that the last year or so.

So he worries about Sam, but also basks in the freedom he has, to a degree, because Cas may tilt his head or frown when Dean does something that he does not like or understand, but he does not bitch like Sam does. Besides, since Castiel does not sleep, Dean only has to get one bed at any given motel they stop at, something which it took him a few days to shake, and while he catches a few hours shut eye, the angel researches or runs drills with Lucifer's sword, telling Dean to go back to sleep and not to worry so much when he wakes in the night.

Oddly, this is almost enough, to be with Cas on the road and trusting the angel to watch his back and not having to keep an eye on Sam or worry about the whole tense atmosphere that they have going these days because Hell left him changed and Ruby's blood had a far bigger and longer lasting effect on Sam than they had first anticipated. So this should be nice, a welcome break, except that it is not, not really.

Truth be told, at this point Dean is just tired. He is tired of driving and tired of fighting. He is tired of not knowing who to trust and who to run through with the sword he has been forced to start carrying everywhere but most of all, _most of all_, he is tired of having the weight of the world on his shoulders. It is not that he does not think that the world is worth saving, is not that he does not want to, just does not know why it has to be him. Does not know why it has to be him with only the help of his demon blood junky brother, his surrogate father, a bar tender and an angel with broken grace. He likes to amuse himself sometimes with the thought that someone up there has a plan, or that this is some sort of great cosmic joke and God is going pop up anytime now with a camera crew and tell him that this was all for the entertainment of the cosmos.

That is not what he gets.

What he gets is an archangel in a blind vessel carrying a sword that makes Castiel shrink into the front seat like he has been struck by something as Dean swerves the Impala across to the side of the road, narrowly missing colliding with an oncoming truck when he startles at the sudden appearance of said archangel. He turns, not really caring who or what it is that he is berating, just that he makes it clear that appearing behind him like that there when he is driving is the worst kind of plan. Raphael does not even have the decency to apologise and Dean figures that is because he does not know that he should.

Cas is still in the front seat and when he turns to look at his former superior, as all archangels are superior Dean has been told, there is a frown on his face and his blue eyes show his concern. Raphael does not say much, his whole demeanor one of a person, man, angel, whatever, on the run and that makes Dean wonder if something Castiel said really did crack the ice, did break through. The only thing he says is that the sword is for Sam when the time is right, then he is gone and Dean is left with even more questions than before.

_**Now, did you read the news today?  
They say the danger has gone away  
But I can see the fire's still alight  
They're burning into the night**_

_Reviews are little Castiels that fly above our heads and mini Deans under the bed. A small Sam in hand and a tiny John by the chair, a review that can show how much you care._

_Artemis_


	2. Chapter 2

_So, have to admit I'm a bit disappointed by the lack of reviews, not even someone flaming me and telling me that they're bored of this. I've started though, so I'll finish. I want to get this done before the show comes back in September and Kripke takes up where he left off. I want my head clear for that._

_**There's too many men, too many people  
Making too many problems  
And there's not much love to go around  
Can't you see this is a land of confusion?**_

Sam knows that this is a mistake, that travelling with Cassidy, who has no real _hands on_ experience with the hunt, will more than likely spell trouble later on, but for now she is all that he has, because he needs back up and much as he would like to have Dean with him for that, he knows that they need the allies too, and Castiel cannot really be left to his own devices in the world just yet. So they take what they can get and if that means that he has to go in with a complete novice when he would rather have experience, then so be it. He simply has to hope that his luck will not run true to form.

So they get in a car and they drive, they drive until neither one of them can see straight and then they find themselves a motel and check into two separate rooms and after so long having Dean and Castiel in the room with him, and even before that Ruby, being on his own is strange. He does not sleep well that night.

He does not sleep all that well the next night either, too accustomed to the sound of other people being in the room, soft snores and hushed movements, the rustle of another shifting under blankets and the pad of restless feet. He will adapt, he is good at it, has been doing it all his life, and soon he will go back to the sleeping patterns he has become used to almost since Jessica was killed, a few hours snatched here and there. For the moment, however, he is not sleeping well and it is clear to him, by the time they reach their destination, that Cassidy is not either and he is fairly certain that he knows why.

Cassidy is dealing with death, and though he is certain that she is no stranger to losing friends and acquaintances, she is also dealing with the disappearance of a brother that she has relied on for the last eight years. It does not come as a surprise to Sam that she wants to take a more active role in trying to find a solution to the world's current predicament, she needs to take her mind off what has happened to her, how her life and her world have been turned upside down by the simple death of one man at the hands of angels. Two years ago, Sam would not have believed that angels were capable of such things, would have laughed at the person telling him such tales. Now he cannot believe that he was so blind.

For now, however, both are tired and neither is in a place where getting into the church and taking a look at the place to try to find the information they need is going to be easy. Sam yawns, the wide, all consuming, mouth open and throw your head back kind and he hears Cassidy chuckle at it as she guides the car into a motel parking lot, taking the keys, she never lets him have them, and going to the desk while he uncurls himself from the passenger seat.

The fact that she does not let him have the keys tells him that she does not trust him, which is really not a surprise because Sam does not really trust himself these days, let alone many other people. Still, it hurts to think that she is concerned that he will drive off and leave her alone in an unfamiliar town. This is not to say that he trusts her one hundred percent, he has learnt his lesson there about trusting people, even if he knows that she is not Ruby and she is not the angels and she has as much interest in making sure that they save the world as he does. Perhaps, he thinks, this is another reason why he is not sleeping so well.

They sleep and clean up, taking their time, before heading to the church, neither visibly armed but Sam knows that if he is carrying a knife and a gun, Cassidy will have one somewhere about her person as well. He is not sure if that is comforting or concerning, but he knows that he has to trust her to have his back or if anything goes wrong he will not have a chance of getting out of it alive.

He hopes that she understands that as well.

When they go to the church the next morning, Cassidy has opted for a light dress, her hair pulled back and caught with a silver clasp. Certainly far more suitable than the torn jeans and lose shirt she had been wearing the day before, even though Sam still wears his jeans, he has chosen a button down shirt and when they step inside the building it is almost like they are stepping into a sanctuary from the chaos and mayhem of the war they now find themselves embroiled in.

The church seems to have been there for so long that it is almost a part of the land itself rather than a building of wood and mud and slate. Even though Sam knows that the peace of the building is built on a lie, it is peaceful nonetheless and he lets himself drink it in for a moment while Cassidy somehow talks their way into the crypt and the ancient books that have been stored there and all but left to rot, not because no one cared about them, but simply because no one really knew what to do with them.

They settle in for the day, silently reading and taking quick moments to compare notes and grab a bite to eat before they throw themselves back into it, pens scratching against paper and the air filled with the musty smell of old books.

Eventually, Cassidy breaks the silence. She has found something, and it is not what they wanted in the slightest.

"_And the Righteous man shall bring peace to the Earth, and with that peace shall he usher in the age of Paradise in the eyes of our Father."_

SPN

Raphael takes a moment to just think when he leaves Dean and Castiel, takes a moment on a mountain somewhere in Europe and simply looks up at the stars, allowing himself the chance to relax and get his rolling thoughts back under control. Allied with Dean he may be, but a single archangel can do little against the Host of Heaven and he needs to stay where he is, to he trusted by Michael and Gabriel for long enough that he can find some of his brethren willing to support him, to help the Winchesters and to stop the world from ending and Paradise being born in flames.

He is not alone long, however, before Gabriel, in the petite blonde body of a middle aged woman, finds him. Raphael knows what is coming, and, sure enough, Gabriel demands to know where he has been, demands to know what he has been up to for the last several hours and for the first time in his existence, Raphael _lies_ to his brother.

_**This is the world we live in  
And these are the hands we're given  
Use them and let's start trying  
To make it a place worth living in**_

_Reviews are little Castiels that fly above our heads and mini Deans under the bed. A small Sam in hand and a tiny John by the chair, a review that can show how much you care._

_Artemis_


	3. Chapter 3

_Ah, reviews are like life blood, I just wonder why so many of my colleagues, now former colleagues, have now decided to leave. Leaving parties do not make for good writing environments._

_**Oh, superman, where are you now?  
When everything's gone wrong somehow?  
The men of steel, these men of power  
Are losing control by the hour**_

For the first time in his existence, Raphael has lied to his brother, has guarded the centre of his being from him and told Gabriel that he has spent the last several hours seeking revelation, searching for the whispered words of a Father who is not there, as Gabriel hastens to remind him, suspicion lacing his tone. Even though he is using a female vessel, and genderless as angels generally are, Raphael still thinks of him in male terms, because that is what Gabriel has always been, is what he _will_ always be.

The lying is easy, far too easy, the healer archangel thinks as he speaks again. It is easy to tell Gabriel that he is not seeking revelation because he expects the Father to understand, but rather because it soothes his troubled soul, it calms and centres him. Still, he has to be quick to reassure Gabriel that he is dedicated, to tell him that it is simply the wanton destruction and endless killing goes against everything he was created for, that he was made a healer, not a warrior like so many of the others.

It is then that he tells his greatest lie of all, that he says that he is not considering disobedience, that he would not be so foolish, when Gabriel asks it of him, tells him that he trusts the judgement of a brother who has seen his Father's face and heard his Father's voice more times than any of them, the brother who has been their leader since before He disappeared, before even the birth of the Son.

So he tells Gabriel to reassure Michael that he is loyal, that he is dedicated and utterly devoted to the cause and when Gabriel nods and vanishes back to Michael's side, Raphael takes a moment to offer up a prayer to his Father, a genuine one this time, though he does not expect a response, has long since given up on the possibility of one, but prays all the same. He prays that he has done the right thing here, that by allying himself with Dean he has not condemned himself and those who follow him to untimely and ultimately painful deaths. Worse yet, that he has not condemned them all to Hell.

The wind whips the hair of the vessel, lashing it against pale skin and he takes a moment to consider that, the way that it feels like a memory of something that he cannot possibly have experienced, the memory of the vessel as the young man's consciousness seems to roll in slumber, buried deep beneath his own and reminding him of what it is he is working to save.

The mountain top is abandoned, then, not in favour of the other archangels but rather, he goes to his own cohort, other healing angels under his command who sided with him almost before he had tentatively broached the subject, by no means willing to _order_ them to follow him when that would be to follow him to their deaths. His second, Ariel, reports that in the last three days the number of angels who are willing to follow him have doubled, that they are quietly seeking further allies in other garrisons, discretely finding those who were appalled at Castiel's treatment, who felt betrayed by Zachariah and the other archangels. Deceived by those in command who sacrificed so many of their brethren so that Lucifer could be let lose and Dean Winchester forced to kill him.

They are ordered to remain quiet, to obey orders until Raphael, and _only_ Raphael, tells them otherwise, to continue with the impression of unquestioning loyalty even though the healing archangel clearly desires it otherwise. He wants to declare his disapproval of this, of the things that Michael is doing, wants to make a stand and take all those who have sided with him to Dean. He wants to openly defy Michael and the only reason that he does not is that he knows that to do so now really will get them all killed, even though he knows that such a display would gain him more followers.

He cannot afford to get himself killed, there is no possible way for the humans to win if he does so, and he still has so much to teach Dean, to remind Castiel of, before he can even think about bringing the humans to battle with Michael and the Host. He knows that Michael will not even view Dean and the other hunters as a threat, knows that all it will take to defeat them is one shout from the Host.

So there is preparation to do, charms to forge, spells and sigils to teach to Dean and to Castiel, who was never in a position to learn them, weapons to be adapted and forged. Raphael never once thought that he would be using this knowledge to do that which he most abhors, never thought that he would be using it to kill.

It is not as disquieting as he knows that it should be.

SPN

Castiel does not like being in the car with Astaroth's sword, does not like the way that it feels or the way that it pulls at his broken grace, tempting, calling him to it and to the pleasures of Hell and he understands now why so many of his brothers and sisters gave in to that call, even having seen what he has and experienced the last months, he admits to himself that it's call is seductive.

He does not tell Dean, knows that the hunter has far more on his mind, far more to be concerned about than the fact that Castiel wants to take up Astaroth's blade and go after Michael himself. He does not want Dean to worry about this new darker side of him that has begun to make itself known the longer they stay in proximity to the sword. He wants to track down Sam and give it to him now, except that Sam is in a state on the other side of the country at the moment and they have work to do and hunters to persuade to join them.

Hunters, Castiel has decided, are the most trying of all of his Father's chosen children. As a whole they are more difficult even than he had foolishly thought Dean was. At least Dean was only ever going to do the exact opposite of anything the damaged angel told him to do, other hunters are far more paranoid, question more and many have said that this is not their problem, that Dean and Sam and even Castiel got them into this mess and they should be responsible for getting them _out_ of it again and while Castiel does not exactly disagree with that sentiment, he is quick to point out that they need a great deal of help to put the world right.

It would make things easier if he knew for certain where Raphael stood on the matter.

What would also make things easier would be if the few hundred hunters in America alone were a bit more organised, if they had a hierarchy that Dean and Castiel could go to rather than visiting back water bars and safe houses in order to try and persuade them to help one by one. There was a time when they were and Castiel longs for that, a time long lost and long forgotten and it is possibly better that way, because no matter how secret they tried to keep it, people always notice a drain on resources.

Even so, they have found that the use of Cassidy's name, in conjunction with Ellen's, has opened a number of doors that would have otherwise remained closed to them, and that is something that at least reassures the angel somewhat, that the ties of brotherhood and organisation have not completely left them.

It is not enough, however, all of this, finding hunters to ally themselves with and to take Castiel's mind off of the seductive song of the sword that sits in the trunk of the Impala, calling him to the not so tender embrace of Hell. They need more, they need weapons, a way to defeat the other angels and Castiel has to admit that unless Raphael really does come through for them, really does agree to fight at Dean's side, there is no way that they will succeed where they need to.

So when an angel named Helez finds them, in a vessel that is all muscle and tendon and bone, Castiel is nervous, watches as Dean threatens the newcomer with words and blade and the other angel laughs at that, a laugh that is more the action of memory than of actual understanding. Relief is the only emotion he can identify then, that Helez finds it so amusing that Dean is more interested in protecting his family, into which he appears to have adopted Castiel, than he is in surviving to stop Michael. Helez is on their side, however, has been sent by Raphael to teach Castiel the things he needs to know about adapting mortal weapons so that they will kill angels.

The broken angel finds that more than a little distressing.

Still, he learns quickly, always has, and has always had a flair for charms and sigils, it is why he was chosen to draw the trap that kept Alistair bound, so the things that the other angel teaches him come quickly, take root in his mind and makes him consider how to use them.

They have a weapon now, many weapons, all they need is people to use them, people to stand by them. It is then that Sam calls and from the expression on Dean's face, the news is not good.

_**This is the time, this is the place  
So we look for the future  
But there's not much love to go around  
Tell me why this is a land of confusion**_

_Reviews are little Castiels that fly above our heads and mini Deans under the bed. A small Sam in hand and a tiny John by the chair, a review that can show how much you care._

_Artemis_


	4. Chapter 4

_Mine is an evil laugh. I have worked out exactly how this is all going to end, to the extent that the last few chapters of the next two are done and it is only this one that is giving me difficulty, added to that my suddenly hectic social life, which always happens when you have a project you want to finish I suppose, but it can't be helped, lets just see how we go and hope that Mamma Mia doesn't kill me before I get the next chapter out._

_**This is the world we live in  
And these are the hands we're given  
Use them and let's start trying  
To make it a place worth living in**_

Sam does not like the sound of the passage that he and Cassidy had found buried in the first church, likes it even less that whatever was hidden in the second church is not only long gone, but forgotten entirely, not even the elderly caretaker has any idea what was in the dust filled cavity between two mouldering copies of the Bible, assumes it was just another of the same. The New York library was a bust too, no great surprise there, and Sam has poured over the book, the passage for hours when they are in the motel room while Cassidy calls friends and acquaintances to get them to come back to the bar.

It seems that she is convinced that the time to search for allies is over, they need to find a way to prevent Paradise from coming and this does not bode well for Dean. So Sam calls him, reads the passage to him and then listens to the silence on the other end of the line, mutters his brother's name a few times until Dean responds, tells him that he will meet him back at the bar in a few days and that he has something that will make their battle against the angels that little bit easier.

Except that Sam is not listening to Dean's _words_ so much as he is listening to his _tone_ and there is something there, that dead note that Sam has only heard a few times in the past and that he has always been determined never to hear again, that tells the younger Winchester that Dean has taken the words in the book far more personally than Sam had thought, that he should have known better than to share that kind of information with Dean, because Dean, though he always seems to try and shrug it off as nonchalance, will always take this sort of information to heart, will beat himself up over it even though he will not be able to stop it and Sam hates it when his brother gets that way.

Cassidy is driving when he makes the call, moves a hand off the wheel to touch his knee gently in understanding before turning her attention back onto the road and they may not know each other all that well, or even trust one another entirely, but that small gesture of humanity is something that Sam feels has been sadly missing from his life lately, since he let Lucifer out of his cage, almost before that, with him and Dean at each others throats almost all the time and he knows that he will never be able to adequately describe the regret there, that he feels at the loss of a friendship, a brotherhood, that had once meant more to him than his own life.

He misses that.

He wants it back and he hopes that after the battles, after the war, when they are all safe and all together, he can do something to rebuild that, that it is not too late to salvage that familial friendship. He knows that if he looks at Cassidy, he will see concern there, so he does not, look, just continues to stare out the window as he looks at the book some more, still trying to find a way out of this, still trying to find some form of loophole that will mean that Dean does not have to end the world.

When he does not find anything, Cassidy gives him the wheel, gets him to drive while she makes more calls, glasses in her lap as she rubs tiredly against the bridge of her nose and at this point they have been driving for twenty-one hours and both need sleep and rest. So he pulls in at the first motel he finds, almost an hour later, the blonde woman in the seat beside him sleeping now, cell phone in slack fingers and even when he comes back from getting them a room, only one because that is all the owner has, she is still asleep. So he wakes her, helps her into the room and watches her fall face first onto the bed nearest the door. He sleeps well that night.

The next morning they are back on the road and not more than a day away from the bar, Sam pushes for, and Cassidy agrees to, them continuing through the night, driving in shifts until they get back to the bar, Cassidy out of the battered vehicle and through the door almost before the engine is turned off. Sam shakes his head indulgently, figures that she is almost as bad about that bar as Dean is about the Impala.

There is silence when he follows her, though perhaps it is the hostility in Jo's eyes that hurts the most. Jo that Meg went after when she had control of his body, Jo who he and Dean both have neglected since that encounter. Jo who got her heart broken by Dean and by Sam, who carried a torch for the elder and confided in the younger, another victim of their appalling luck and general broken family.

It makes things tense and just like Dean dislikes uncomfortable situations, Sam does too. Cassidy, however, asks Jo how the last two weeks has been, fingers pushing her glasses up her nose and eyes moving over everything and Sam smiles at it, smiles at the way that she pushes all of the bad news and all of the contrary information that they have managed to gather to the back of her mind and just flow back into her place behind the bar as it's owner and manager.

Eventually she tells him to go to bed, that he does not need to sit up and watch her take her job back, that the meeting with the other Hunters, the others who have agreed to sit in on the planning phase and relay it all back to the dozens who are making their way slowly to Black's with the intention of stopping the angels.

Except that while they can plan and plot and gather others to help them fight, it will be nothing without weapons. Sam sincerely hopes, as he finally dozes off, that Dean and Castiel have really managed to come up with something.

SPN

Castiel can tell that something is wrong with Dean as soon as he snaps his cell phone closed, an assessment that is only made all the more accurate when said cell phone only misses Castiel's head through the angelic reflexes that, in spite of everything else that has happened and broken, seem to be unaffected by everything that has been done to him. The angel is not stupid, though perhaps his innocence can, on occasion, give people that impression, he knows that he is less than a tenth of what he once was and that even when he was at his height he was not as strong as some of the others. That does not matter anymore. Castiel has since found that his strengths lie in other areas.

Right now, however, is not the time to contemplate the fact that he is better with charms and spells than he ever was with a weapon, even his own bow, it is not the time to think about how hard it is going to be to teach so many hunters and their associates to construct weapons to kill angels.

Dean throws him a look that can be called remorseful, if one looks at it closely, and grabs his jacket, green eyes haunted, telling Castiel that he is on his way out for a drink and not to worry because he will be back after a few hours, he just needs to clear his head. The damaged angel hastens to follow, and it is not out of any desire for a drink, or to watch Dean pick up a girl for himself and try to foist another off on Castiel, it is not even because he does not want to be alone in the room with only his thoughts for company.

It is because Dean has been told something that he does not like and Castiel is determined to find out what that is, before Dean drinks himself into oblivion or does something else equally as stupid. They do not have time for this and the angel knows that Dean would disagree with that statement, but he will stick with that thought anyway.

It is several hours later when they return to the motel room, Dean having only managed a few drinks with Castiel seeming to nurse the same beer throughout the evening and scaring away the girls with little more than a glance and a glare. The whole time the angel has pressed for Dean to tell him what was said to him and when they finally reach the motel room, Dean cracks, reels off the passage to him, every word uttered with irony laced self loathing and Castiel frowns, blue eyes going wide as he interrupts Dean's self hating rant.

"But that is not what is means," he interjects, almost backing away from the anger in Dean's eyes, still, he continues, voices the opinion that he had held close from the moment he learnt of the passage more than three hundred years ago. Tells Dean that Paradise is coming, whether they like it or not, it was unavoidable the instant that Dean killed Lucifer, nothing could be done to avoid that. The question was always _how_ it was to be brought. Some always thought through peace between the angels and the humans, others thought that it would be through all out war.

What it does not mean is that Dean is going to simply hand the world over to the angels so that they can end it all. It means that if they win, and at this point that is a very big 'if', then Paradise will happen so gradually that no one will really notice it and it will happen over centuries, will not be completed until Dean and Sam and likely Castiel, too, are little more than dust and memories.

It does not give Dean as much comfort as Castiel had hoped it would. He wonders if he is maybe a little foolish to think that Dean would be comforted by the thought that Paradise will come and the world will end regardless of what he does at this point, but he does not ask and does not comment, has learnt that Dean likes occasionally inane chatter and the deep discussion of hunts and strategy, but he does not like it when Castiel questions his motives or berates him for thinking too lowly of himself. So he stays silent on the subject, tells Dean to rest so that they can leave early to get to Cassidy's in time for the first few meetings. They have a lot to do.

_**I remember long ago  
When the sun was shining  
And all the stars were bright all through the night  
In the wake of this madness, as I held you tight  
So long ago**_

_Reviews are little Castiels that fly above our heads and mini Deans under the bed. A small Sam in hand and a tiny John by the chair, a review that can show how much you care._

_Artemis_


	5. Chapter 5

_Nearly there now and I can get to the stuff that I've had swimming around for far too long, easy stuff to write which worries me given the subject involved. Still, this arc has consumed far too much of my life and I'm actually looking forward to getting it done so that I can go back to one shots and things that do not consume my entire being. Please, Cas, let this be my last big project for a while._

_**I won't be coming home tonight  
My generation will put it right  
We're not just making promises  
That we know we'll never keep**_

Dean lies awake for a long time thinking about the things that Castiel and Sam have told him. Truthfully, he wants to take all of the blame for this on himself, is half convinced that rather than go up against the angels he may as well just let them take what they want, it seems that they are going to get it anyway. He knows, however, that Castiel will leave him to wallow in his own misery for a day or so, he will not let Dean do anything else.

Deep down Dean knows why Cas will not let him just give in to the seemingly inevitable and it just makes his guilt about everything all that much worse. Cas will not let him give in, give up, because the angel gave up everything that was his, his entire existence, his home and his _family_, to help Dean and to save the rest of mankind. So even contemplating giving up and just handing the world over to the angels, that would be an insult to Cas and even if Dean does do it, does risk it, Sam would not stop, would fight until the bitter end and Dean wonders who he is to try and stand against that.

He sleeps, eventually, though it is not well and the following morning he drives in silence while Castiel sits in the passenger seat, a pen in one hand that moves furiously over paper as he draws charms and writes down spells that can be used to keep angels at bay, adaptions to weapons so that they can be used to kill angels and Dean can see that thought is causing Castiel no small amount of his own self loathing.

"_We'll all be hunted, we will all be killed!"_ He can still hear those words in the back of his mind, on dark nights when he cannot sleep and there is little else to do but dwell on how royally he has managed to screw up not only his own life, and Sam's, but Castiel's and those of everyone else in the world. He thinks on it when he is driving and the road is endless before him and his music little more than a barely enjoyed noise in the background, he thinks on it and he decides that no matter what, no one else is going to die because of him, no one else is going to die _for_ him, not Sam, not Cassidy, not Castiel.

_No one_.

So he drives to the bar and when he reaches it Sam and Cassidy are already deep in talk with other hunters, the other owners of places like Black's, people with the knowledge of hunters and their world to organise them into a unit, an army of mercenaries. He is surprised to see Jo behind the bar and though he allows it to show on his face he does not say anything about it, just follows her silent direction to the back room and is not surprised to hear raised voices coming from inside.

He glances at Castiel, the angel appears uncharacteristically nervous, and he tries to smile before pushing the door open. Their entrance is not even noticed, everyone in the room is too busy arguing and making threats that are probably not quite so empty as Dean hopes they are, so he decides to get their attention, opens his mouth and yells, watching in almost amused aggravation as they fall silent and turn to him.

Sam is the first to greet them, getting to his feet and pulling Dean into a hug and normally Dean would push him away, tell him not to do this in front of all the other hunters, tell him that chick flick moments are not really appropriate right now. It is just that he is relieved that Sam is alright, that he understands what he is going through right now, and that he needed this, a second with his brother where he is accepted for all that he is even with what Sam knows.

So he sits at the table with Sam to his right and Castiel to his left, Cassidy on the other side of Sam looking tired behind her glasses, and he listens to the introductions, already knows Bobby and Ellen, not recognising the others but he knows that it will take a while for him to remember the names even if they will all remember his name and face until long after this is all over.

The talking starts again and now that they have the ability to make weapons against the angels, the others seem to be more willing to listen, though there is still the question in everyone's mind and on everyone's lips, 'why should we do it?' Why should they risk their lives, ask others to risk their lives, to fix the mess that Dean and Sam have made?

Dean can only come up with one answer, one reason, can only say that if he had a choice, if he could make it work for them, he would go after Michael on his own, would not risk Castiel's life anymore than he already has, certainly would not risk _Sam's_ life again, _ever_, but he does not have a choice, cannot do this on his own and if they do not get organised, if they do not band together and share their resources and their knowledge and just _fight_ to save the world then what, precisely, is the point of anything?

He has to admit that this is the most eloquent he has ever been, usually uncomfortable under the scrutiny of so many and he lapses into silence. The others look at him, seemingly expecting more, expecting ideas and battle plans and Dean figures that if he had those they would not need to have meetings, they would not need to plan, so he is surprised when Castiel speaks.

The angel's words are soft, his eyes a little distant as he tells them of a time when councils such as this existed the world over, when hunters were holy men who fought evil in the name of God. Dean wants to say that this is not the time for story telling, except that it is almost spellbinding, the way that Castiel's voice rises and falls as he talks about that time and Dean gets the feeling that he was there, that he saw it all. So when Castiel says that the councils were broken, not by the hand of man but by the hands of angels, Dean knows that Michael and his cronies have been planning this for far longer than he had imagined.

"Just think about it,"Castiel says, more passion colouring his voice than Dean has ever heard there before, "think how much stronger we would be, how much more we would know, if we were to work together. Not just against this threat, but against _all_ threats, all evil. If we would work together, we will win."

Dean believes him, even though he knows that it is foolish, he believes him and from the expressions on the faces of the others, Bobby included, they do as well.

SPN

Cassidy cannot help but be enraptured by Castiel's tale, even though it is clear that he has never done such a thing before, never told such a story before. Still, like all the others, she finds it fascinating, has to wonder why she has never seen such information before and even though it is not enough to make the others believe in them completely, believe that this is the right thing to do, it is enough to make them listen, to get them to help plan and, really, that is all that matters.

So they plan and they plot and Castiel asks for any information on hunters who are good with charms and spell work, nods to Bobby Singer as one of them and Cassidy suspects that Castiel has seen Bobby's spell work before. Several other names are brought up and Castiel nods, notes them down and asks that he be introduced as soon as the meeting is over, they have a great deal to do and little time to do it in. Cassidy agrees with that, says that they need to wrap this up soon anyway, that she needs to go back to the bar and they could all use the rest.

Sam, Dean and Castiel all agree, although she cannot help but notice that the Winchester brothers glance at Singer just once before they say it and Castiel looks to Dean. It is an interesting hierarchy that seems to be emerging and rather than the two Winchesters leading and bulling their way through, they are looking for direction.

Which she is sort of pleased about really, that they have someone that they can turn to and that they are not acting like they know everything that there is to know about this whole mess, because they are all painfully aware that they know nearly nothing about this kind of warfare, that the only one who knows anything is an angel who is broken almost beyond repair.

Right now that angel is sat at a table in one of the brighter corners of the bar, as much as the place can _have_ brighter corners, it was never designed to be a light, airy room because hunters prefer the dark and dingy, the anonymity of shadows to the revealing, harsh, glare of florescent light. Still, Castiel is in that corner, with seven or eight hunters, all of whom listening to him with the kind of attention that she has only seen once or twice in the years she has run the place.

It is good to see and it makes her think that maybe, just maybe, they have a chance at actually winning this thing. She just hopes that they all come out the other side alive.

_**There's too many men, too many people  
Making too many problems  
And there's not much love to go round  
Can't you see this is a land of confusion?**_

_Reviews are little Castiels that fly above our heads and mini Deans under the bed. A small Sam in hand and a tiny John by the chair, a review that can show how much you care._

_Artemis_


	6. Chapter 6

_Ah, the final part of this bit of the journey, two more fics to go, two more only and then this verse will be utterly complete. Coming up: Ten Thousand Fists!_

_**Now, this is the world we live in  
And these are the hands we're given  
Use them and let's start trying  
To make it a place worth fighting for**_

Michael is becoming suspicious, Raphael knows this, and for an archangel who should be as cold and as without emotion as a marble statue, this is concerning. Even Gabriel has commented on it to him, commented and been told quite firmly to follow orders and not concern himself with a brother who seems to be slowly losing himself.

Where Raphael once thought that he was doing the wrong thing, that going up against Michael and the rest of the host with only a rag tag band of rebel angels and mercenary hunters was foolish, he is now beginning to think that it might be the only hope of not only man, but of Heaven as well. He is beginning to understand what fear feels like.

Still, while Raphael is determined to fix the problem, and if that means the deaths of his brothers and sisters then it is a burden that he must carry, Gabriel is more than happy to ignore it. He does not question, he simply follows orders, even when those orders are getting more erratic and make less and less sense.

The healing archangel is being watched, the angel tasked with it not being particularly subtle about it, and when he hears Michael calling for him, he goes willingly, if only to escape condemning eyes and the sense of suspicion that is all around him.

The archangel wants a progress report, wants to know if Raphael has found a way to stop the humans from remembering the towns that have been destroyed and investigating, because they are getting in the way, the hunters are taking notice and the last thing that Michael wants is for the hunters to start interfering with things. Raphael knows that it is too late for that now.

So he lies, again, tells Michael that finding an answer is proving more problematic than he had thought, that they were never supposed to wipe the memories of so many. However, the superior archangel is not interested in excuses, he simply wants this done, wants it done now and Raphael insists that he cannot, that he does not know _how_, that even with the aid of his cohort of healers and borrowing of the grace of certain warriors, he still _cannot_.

Michael listens to him, dark, hairless, head tilted slightly, face blank but a wildness in his deep brown eyes that has never been there before and it is all that the angel in a blind vessel can do to remain impassive, to stay in place and look upon his superior and squash the fleeting moment of fear as he sees the burgeoning madness there. Michael has been waiting for this for far too long, has been planning this for so many centuries that he has become obsessed with it. It is a dangerous obsession.

The healing instinct that he was created with kicks in, Raphael reaches a hand to his brother, physical contact required with him now that they are both in mortal vessels, has to reach up to touch Michael's shoulder and he can feel the darkening of his brother's grace there, the way that the agonies of waiting, Lucifer's betrayal and the disappearance of their Father has damaged him.

The healer can fix it, though it would be a lengthy process and it would do little to correct the damage already done, Michael's plans are too far along, others will pick up where he has left off. The only way that this can be ended is through the death of Michael, as well as the death of Gabriel because he is definitely one who will finish this, has been waiting as long as the rest of them and felt their Father's departure as keenly as Michael.

Still, he is a healer and as such he cannot leave this darkness untouched, filters the tiniest amount of healing grace into his brother, he knows that this is the last thing that he will be able to do for him, this tiny clearing of madness to let his brother think clearly, to give him the chance to reconsider what he is doing before it is too late. Somehow he knows that this will not be enough. Michael's mind is too far gone now, he is too far in, and he knows that the hunters are planning to fight back, that they are gathering in the backwater bar that is owned and run by Cassidy Black.

Raphael hears the order to gather, to organise a strike against the humans, they have not had enough time to plan, not had enough time to prepare but he hopes that whatever they have managed will be enough.

He returns to his cohort and immediately sends Helez to the bar, Dean Winchester must be warned.

SPN

When Castiel had come to believe that working with hunters was one of the most frustrating assignments in his existence, he had not thought that he would ever be working in such close company with so many, nor had he ever considered that he would be trying to teach them something more difficult than the most basic spell work.

His role here is a dual one. On one hand he is to teach others how to make weapons to use in fighting his kind, to check them as one by one guns, bullets and knives are adapted, on the other he is to advise the war council, as Cassidy calls it, on the possible tactics that Michael will use. He wonders if they have forgotten that even at the best of times he was not all that high up on the celestial chain of command.

In truth it is nice to be _wanted_ for what he knows and what he can give. These past several months he has felt like a burden upon the shoulders of the Winchesters, something else that they have to consider and care for when they have far better things to do. When they have a war to prepare for.

In this sense, Castiel is fortunate that he does not sleep, is able to sit through meetings during the day and then spend the evenings and nights working on the weapons with the aid of other hunters. It is necessary, he knows, even when Dean and Sam tell him to take a break, when Cassidy watches him for a time and quietly asks him if he is sure he would not like to rest, because he also knows that this will not stay a secret from Michael for long, that eventually the leader of the angels will find out and when he does he will bring the Host down upon them.

Even though he knows he is making this look easy, his face impassive and his eyes as emotionless as he can make them these days, Castiel is feeling anything _but_ at ease. He chose not to return to the angels, this is true, chose not to go back because of the actions of a few, but that does not change the fact that they are his _family_, more so than the surrogate home, surrogate family, he has found in the Winchesters. So he did not got back, but that does not change the fact that now he is finding ways to kill his brothers and sisters, even the ones innocent of the crimes committed against him by Michael and the others, even those ignorant of the truth, of the disappearance of their Father.

He wonders what their Father would think if he could see them now, wonders if this is why he left in the first place, to see what they would do without him. Cannot help but wonder if this is a test and if it is, he thinks, then they have failed. It makes him hope that his Father never returns so that he will not see what a spectacular mess the angels and demons and mankind have made of things between them.

He can feel eyes in the back of his neck, rubs a hand absently over the bandage on his left arm when he realises who it is. Cassidy's brother, Peter, who returned two days ago with hate in his eyes and murder in his soul. Peter who took a knife to Castiel the instant he saw him and it was only through the remnants of grace, quick reflexes and the diligence of Winchester and Black alike that prevented that first blocked thrust from becoming a knife to the throat instead of just a gash in his arm that is healing quickly, but not instantaneously as it once would have.

It is an aggravation, a distraction, and one that he does not need. It is also a reminder of how weak he is now, how he will have to be ten times more vigilant, more careful, than he ever was before. So he worries at the bandage that he does not think he needs anymore and keeps half an eye on Peter who is watching him, and he knows that it is not so much that Peter wants _him_ dead, it is more that he is grieving and angry and blames Castiel for ever making Daniel aware of what was happening, for making him want to find a solution.

They keep their distance from each other and everybody watches and waits for another altercation and though things between Cassidy and the Winchesters remain cordial, it has become decidedly frosty, with the brothers siding with Castiel and Cassidy supporting her own sibling even though she knows his actions were misguided. It has made things tense, made it difficult and since Castiel feels no desire for a repeat, he keeps his distance and remains, if not respectful, then tolerant. Dealing with Dean and other hunters has done a great deal for his tolerance.

It is entirely probable that this could continue for days, this hostility and desperation while Dean, Sam and the other hunters try to come up with a plan that does not involve the world ending or them all dying. Except that they are out of time. Completely. Helez appears, is flung against a wall with enough force to make the building shake as the charms and traps that the place is now coated in react to the presence of one far more powerful than Castiel.

"Michael is coming," he grinds out.

_**This is the world we live in  
And these are the names we're given  
Stand up and let's start showing  
Just where our lives are going to**_

_Reviews are little Castiels that fly above our heads and mini Deans under the bed. A small Sam in hand and a tiny John by the chair, a review that can show how much you care._

_Artemis_


End file.
